PolyLiving- Discussing Polyamory and the Poly Life
Poly Lifestyle => Relationships => Topic started by: Administrator on November 11, 2012, 02:05:31 AM
Click on the chart to enlarge. What do you think about the issue here?
I love that chart and I have re-posted it many a time. It so simply and effectively draws out the issues that arise when people with unexamined privilege enter into Poly. This unexamined privilege can, of course lead to treating others in an objectifying way, therefore not allowing others to fully self actualise within a relationship because they are bound into catering to your needs.
I think that sometimes we can confuse our ideals with what are actually selfish demands that are not actually in the best interests of the other party but just self serving.
What would you say are selfish demands in poly?
Well it is difficult to say because what might be considered a selfish demand in one community may be considered completely reasonable in another (the OPP is an example of that). So, I can't claim that my ideas are some sort of universal standard, just my opinion, but I do believe that a selfish demand is in general one which you ask from someone else and yet have no expectation for yourself/ves.
Your statement here reminded me of the old idiom, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." Often, selfish demands expect one thing from their partner but have no intention of retaliation towards their partner/s.