PolyLiving- Discussing Polyamory and the Poly Life

Poly Lifestyle => The Poly Mind and Life => Topic started by: Admin on March 21, 2013, 01:33:23 PM

Title: So You Want to Be Poly: Combinations-Open and Closed
Post by: Admin on March 21, 2013, 01:33:23 PM
You want to be poly but are new to the whole scene.  What do you need to know?  First, what is polyamory?  According to Websters Dictionary:

"The state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time."

Pretty simple.  If you are in more than one "OPEN" (everyone knows and agrees to it) relationship, whether your married or not, your polyamorous.  If everyone doesn't know and agree to it, it's cheating.  Remember the difference.

Let's start with the different kinds of poly combinations out there.  Which will fit you?

"V" (Married or Dating)
Triad (Married or Dating)
Quad (Married or Dating)
Group Marriage
Open Relationship (Married or Dating)

Is there more?  Maybe.  Let me know and I'll update this list.  Otherwise we'll work from this list.

These types of relationships may be closed or open. 

Closed means that there may be multiple partners in the relationship and you are only allowed to be with those partners.  New partners may be added but your relationship is always with those partners only.  Example: Jane, Joe and John are in a closed dating relationship.  They can have sex, go on dates, ect. with each other but are not allowed to date anyone outside their group.  They have a friend named Jill who wants to date Joe.  He can be friends with Jill but can not have a romantic relationship with her.  If the group decides they want Jill as a partner and she accepts, then Jill will stop dating people outside the group and only date people withing the group.  Romantic relationships are closed to anyone outside the group.

Open relationships allows the people to have other partners outside the relationship.  Partners can be with each other and have other relationships that are outside the group or couple relationship.  People may set different guidelines on these relationships.  Example: Jane and Joe are in an open relationship.  They have agreed they can have other boyfriends and girlfriends as long as the other partner is aware before hand and gives consent.  They both start dating Jill.  Jill already has another boyfriend, John.  John also likes Joe and has a relationship with him.  This kind of poly web or poly-cule can interlink and extend in many different combinations and can include any number of people.  They can combine as long term or casual relationships. 

What are you looking for?

A long term partner in an open relationship.

A long term partner in a closed relationship.

A casual partner in an open relationship.

Short term partners for casual sex.

Or something else.  I know some people who have like fetish sex (bdsm or furries as an example) and their partner aren't willing or desire to take part in that aspect of their life.  They allow them to have other relationships so the other person can enjoy that aspect of their life. 

It's important you know what your looking for and discuss it with your partners.  Everyone should be on the same page.  You can avoid misunderstandings about what everyone wants and hopefully have a happy and healthy polyamorous relationship.
Title: Re: So You Want to Be Poly: Combinations-Open and Closed
Post by: Bud on March 21, 2013, 02:30:41 PM
Thanks Stead for the very concise and easy to understand post on Poly Combinations.  I think it is a great place for new comers to start reading, as it will help them sort out just what they are looking for and what the want in a poly relationship.

Best Wishes Always,

Title: Re: So You Want to Be Poly: Combinations-Open and Closed
Post by: Administrator on April 03, 2013, 08:23:11 PM
Actually Bud, it was Antony.  He is Admin, and I am Administrator.  LOL.