PolyLiving- Discussing Polyamory and the Poly Life
Brutal Realities => Ethical Scenarios => Topic started by: Admin on June 25, 2012, 11:34:05 PM
You have a triad, any combination. Two of the partners decide they don't want to be together anymore, but the third still loves both. How should the third person handle it if one of the other partners decides to leave?
I suppose like any break up people just have to try to analyse it and see what the problems are in the relationship and what, if anything, can be salvaged. But I am confused as to why one partner would choose to leave considering they still have one functioning relationship?
Why did one of the dyads break up? Is it because the NRE ended and they realised they did not have much else left to sustain a relationship? Well that does not preclude friendship and I do not see the reason why the triad could not continue to be a very loving vee unless one partner feels so rejected (the one that left?) that they refuse to let the vee work, in which case I would consider that the person who left probably had more attachment to the partner they broke up with and they are rejecting the other party by leaving. Therefore I would assume that the third partner would also be dealing with a breakup and well as supporting their existing partner through theirs.
I think all breakups are hard. In a triad its so much more complex cause there is a chance that one relationship is still working while another is not. I totally agree with Natja in that you have to analyze things and see what can be saved and what can not. In my personal situation I gave everything I could before calling it quits with one of the members in my triad. In doing/trying as hard as I could to make it work I felt secure in letting everyone make a decision of what to do next when I let the person I was unhappy with know it was over.
Ending any relationship can be difficult, but sometimes, it is necessary for one to be happy and well.
How the third person should handle it depends on what type of relationships each have and how they want to handle the situation.
Are any of the parties married? Has one person decided to leave? How do all of the parties want to handle this situation?
There is no one right answer.