Deorrcwen, you make an excellent point. Often, we assume that our partner is on the same page as we are, and it isn't until our partner fails to meet an assumed expectation that we are startled and say, "What the heck just happened?" That is why having an ongoing dialog is so important. Individuals are so complex and diverse, it is nearly impossible to cover all the bases, so we can be taken by surprise.
Good point, Deorrcwen!