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Author Topic: Speak Kindly: Never Defame Former Partners  (Read 2427 times)

Offline Administrator

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Speak Kindly: Never Defame Former Partners
« on: May 10, 2012, 08:28:01 PM »
When a poly family splits, usually like in a any split, hurt feelings exist.  It's important to NEVER defame, belittle or put down any of our former partners to any one.  We should always speak kindly of them or not speak about them at all. It reminds me of an old saying, "If you can't say anything nice, then say nothing at all." 

I know at times this can be difficult.  We may feel the need to defend ourselves if our former parnter is talking badly about us. Remember though, when others say bad things about us, it says more about them than it does us.  We do not need to defend ourselves to others, nor is it really any one else's business as to why a split occurred. We do NOT need to air out our dirty laundry to others, nor do we need to air out the dirty laundry of our former partners.  To do so is a vindictive, childish act only meant to harm someone we once loved or may even still love. 

Let it go and move on!  This is the healthy thing to do.
 
Reaching others with the polymindset more and more everyday!

Offline Jennelynn

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Re: Speak Kindly: Never Defame Former Partners
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2012, 07:31:39 PM »
This is such an important truth and such good advice.  I think it applies to more than just romantic relationships as well. 
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"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." -Muhammad Ali

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Re: Speak Kindly: Never Defame Former Partners
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2012, 12:56:39 PM »
Jennelynn,

Thank you.  It can be very difficult to not defend ourselves by giving our side of the story when others come to us saying, "Your ex said this about you...is this true?" I usually just say, "It didn't work out between us.  I loved this person, but we are no longer together now.  What happened between us should stay between us.  Thanks for asking though."  Of course, each of us might have a a friend or relative to whom we will confide in because we need help to heal from the severed relationship.  This, of course, is different than slandering or talking badly about a person or persons in order to purposefully hurt or attack them.  It would be best though to not use a mutual friend or relative of our ex as a confidant as this could cause this friend or relative to be placed in the middle, and being forced into the middle is NOT a comfortable place.
Reaching others with the polymindset more and more everyday!

 


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