Bud,
Thank you for sharing your story here with us. Your willingness to forgive blesses me. Thank you.
I also write poetry, letters, or journals to help me work through issues. I have used writing as a tool to work through my issues ever since I was a young teenager. In poetry, I can use figurative language to pour my heart out. I have written many letters to people who have injured me emotionally as well as physically, but I have NEVER mailed them to these people. I do mail these letters to myself and read them when they arrive. Usually by the time that I receive them, I have already started to feel better and started to forgive.
I find that writing helps to either turn off or turn down my emotional thought process because it has turned on my logical thought process. Once I start to actually think logically, I can then begin to work through my emotional pain towards forgiveness.
Our husband will actually do math equations, such as double digit or triple digit multiplication, and at times when any of us, including the children, are in a high emotional state, he will help to calm us down by giving us math problems to work out loud. It actually works.
I also practice positive thinking daily. I use positive affirmations, such as:
The past is gone. I live only in the present.
I live in the now and design my future. The past has no effect on my present.
I follow the principle of live and let live.
As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.
As I follow the path of forgiveness, life becomes a new, clean slate on which I can draw my new life plan as I wish.
Each day is a new opportunity. Today is the first day of my new life.
I forgive everyone from my life in the past and love myself into the future.
I move beyond forgiveness to understanding and I have compassion and kindness for all.
I am forgiving, loving, gentle and kind and am safe in the knowledge that life loves me.
These can be found at
http://www.self-help-and-self-development.com/forgiveness-affirmations.html.
I find that the more positive I remain in my daily life the easier it is for me to forgive others when they have hurt me. I have known many a person to hold on to past hurts that others have trespassed against them to the point that they grow ill from being so bitter, and I do not want to cause myself to be ill or bitter. I realized many years ago that forgiving others helps me more than it helps them because the forgiveness frees me to stay happy and healthy.
Thanks for sharing. Anyone else want to share?
Blessings,
Steady