Children and their friends

[Administrator]

If you cannot be honest with the general public about your lifestyle choice, how do you deal with your children wanting to have friends visit your home especially if you all live together in the same home? 

For us, we allow the children's friends to visit and even spend the night.  We never offer an explanation, and their friends strangely never even ask.  In fact, one of our children has four of his friends spend the night at least twice a month for the past year, and not one time has any of his friends asked any questions and neither have any of their parents.  Our oldest when he was a teen would have his teen friends spend the night at least twice a month as well, and all of his friends knew about our living arrangement.  They actually though it was cool, and wished they too had a loving family like ours.  They called me mom. 

I guess for us offering no explanation has served us best.

How about you?  What would you do?

[Natja]

My eldest is almost grown and unfortunately sees things very black and white, when she was with me she was a little more open minded but our relationship is quite strained at the moment, I am not sure exactly what she thinks about Poly at this moment, however it may turn out to be a moot point since she is not emotionally interested in forming romantic relationships, not yet at least and I am finding it hard to imagine it ever happening.  She is one beautiful aspie girl but she finds it hard to empathise and connect on any deep level.

However, since I fully intend for my future to be poly and further children are part of my future also, it IS something that will have to be thought about again.   I want to be open though but that doesn't mean that every playtime 'needs' to be an opportunity in Poly advocacy, I saw let the kids come over, act naturally and if they ever ask, answer truthfully, if all the visitors ever pick up on is that their friends have a happy, healthy home life, than that will inform their ideals in the future better than any talk will.

Natja

[Administrator]

I agree Natja that they will form their opinions based upon what they see.  Most of our children's friends see us as a healthy, loving family.