December 14, 2018, 07:58:11 AM

Author Topic: Once Upon A Time - AP  (Read 2123 times)

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Once Upon A Time - AP
« on: April 01, 2012, 05:52:01 PM »
Once upon a time, when I first started writing on this site and shortly thereafter it became mine, I had this idea about the poly mindset.  This idea came to me in the midst of huge poly related issues dealing with outside pressures from supposed family, friends and even the church and from internal jealousies. 

To be honest, neither Antony, Jadez nor I were prepared for what laid ahead of us when we fell in love and became poly.  No one wrote about these things.  We never had any warning. We were young and maybe even naive because we believed that others would be happy for us because we loved one another and this made us happy.  Quite the contrary though, people wanted us to live our lives according to their beliefs and their ideals.  We did not fit their mold, so they made us their enemies.  They were out to get us and to make our lives miserable through rejection, isolation, humiliation, punishment, threats, familial control, gossip, slander, and evil deeds which influenced the lives of our children and our family.  I think to some point my ideas about love, God, and Christianity made me believe that other Christians were full of love and would never commit such acts towards others.  However, I have learned that many were judgemental and full of hate.  This realization caused much grief for me. 

I realize, now, how single minded I once sounded when writing the original poly mindset.  I spoke about polygyny (the marriage between one man between two or more women) and polygyny alone.  I spoke about how a sisterwife needed to not only care about her relationship with their husband, but she also needed to care about the relationship her sisterwife/ves had with their husband.  She also needed to care about how she related with her sisterwife/ves, and how all of them together the husband and all the wives related with one another.  If one relationship fails, then the whole poly marriage fails. 

I failed to reconize the other forms of poly, such as polyamory, polygamy, polyandry, group marriages, etc.  For that, I am deeply sorry. 

Regardless, in each of these forms of relationships, whether polyamory, polgygny, polyandry or group or other, the poly mindset remains vital in order to maintain these relationships and to help them to grow.  Every individual person in a poly relationship needs to always care about all the other relationships within their family unit.  Otherwise, one failing relationship can poison the whole.  In our family, if one of our relationships suffer, then we all suffer because we love one another and want the others to be happy. 

Blessings to you and to yours,

Steady

 


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