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Author Topic: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living  (Read 7498 times)

Offline Admin

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Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« on: April 01, 2012, 04:35:50 PM »
Here you are lurking or now a participating new member and part of the family at SisterWives and Families. You are looking for something: education, community, support, friends, family, ideas, help.... The list could go on and on. Tell us: why are you here, and what do you need from this community? How can we help you? What do you need?

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« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 05:22:25 PM by admin »

Offline Jennelynn

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2012, 03:03:16 AM »
I'm here for a number of reasons!  They include community with others of like mind, support, friends, ideas, and helping others.
I love the Brutal Truths section and the section on jealously.  I'd love to see some talk about the legal aspects of this poly life.  Legally protecting everyone financially and what not.  I'd love to help out and add input where I can. 

Thanks!  :)
http://polyhearts.blogspot.com

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." -Muhammad Ali

Offline TamBabs

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2012, 08:24:31 AM »
Welcome Jennelynn! As the board gets going again, there will be more activity.  :)
This is an awesome place for support and community!

The only way I can think of to protect folks is through wills and insurance policies. Living poly is in itself
 illegal, so pre-nups and such would not be classified as legal either. I could be wrong.

Offline Natja

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2012, 02:43:30 PM »

The only way I can think of to protect folks is through wills and insurance policies. Living poly is in itself
 illegal, so pre-nups and such would not be classified as legal either. I could be wrong.

It depends on where people live and what kind of Poly I think.  I think it is important to investigate the specific laws in your country and region.

For example, we do not have anti Polygamy laws in the UK but we do have bigamy laws, so as long as there is no second legal marriage it is all perfectly legal.

Natja
Наталья

Offline TamBabs

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2012, 03:32:37 PM »
Good to know!

Offline Admin

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2012, 07:35:50 PM »
Great Conversation going so far!  Glad to see you posting!  :)

Offline Jennelynn

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2012, 01:19:27 PM »
I think in Arizona it is okay to call him my husband and her my wife as long as we are looking to gain financially from it.  They are committing adultery but that can't be prosecuted by anyone except them, so that's not a problem.  We cannot get married of course, nor can my husband add me to his insurance policy.  For that matter when adding me to the car insurance policy they actually called to verify my relationship with him (he initially added me online) and he had to say "friend" or "housemate" (I can't remember which it was). 

Carrying an individual insurance policy can be very expensive.  Add in that I have "pre-existing conditions" and I was told by a few different healthcare companies that they do not have to legally offer me a plan until my COBRA (insurance carried from former employer for three years) runs out.  At that point they have to offer insurance, but no one says it has to be affordable. 

I do think we might be able to create an LLC and they carry insurance that way.  Essentially as a small business reaching out for insurance.  We will be exploring our options in the coming months and I will definitely share what I find.
http://polyhearts.blogspot.com

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." -Muhammad Ali

Offline Natja

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2012, 07:09:43 PM »
Gosh that whole insurance system sucks, I really do not know how you lot do it I really don't.  For all the dreariness of the UK sometimes I must admit, I think the NHS is one of the best things about this country. 

Good luck with the insurance issue, I do hope it is not too expensive.

Natja
x
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Offline Admin

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2012, 01:31:26 PM »
I agree Natja that our health and insurance systems here in the US is detestable.  In order for each of us to have and to afford health insurance, each of us need to work and hold our own through our occupations. 

As far as life insurance, each of us holds a policy which names the other two plus all our children as beneficiaries. 

Wills are a must in this type of living situation so that children and possessions are handled in the case of death. 

Each of us also have a power of attorney documents filled out and on our person in case we need medical care and cannot speak for ourselves.  These documents name the other two as our medical power of attorneys. 




Offline Ben-Ton

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2012, 04:45:42 PM »
Hello, I'm Ben,. Sounds like most of you got it together. I'm here to meet folks.

Offline Administrator

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2012, 08:32:21 PM »
Hello Ben! Welcome aboard!
Reaching others with the polymindset more and more everyday!

Offline LES5LIE5

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2014, 06:40:23 PM »
Hello all!

I am here to learn and grow myself as an individual and a partner to my boyfriend. He suggested having a polyamorous relationship; which was nothing I had ever considered trying. I started doing researching more into the idea. I realized I could not deny my boyfriend this without at least experiencing it first hand.

He would be the first to tell you that I love Love. I enjoy loving and being loved.

I would have to say I need dialogue from Poly Living. I want to know how you knew polyamorous living was for you. Tell me about your experiences; the ups and downs. Describe your relationship status. I am open to anything. How would you introduce polyamorous relationships to your friends, or a possible secondary, etc?

Thank you in advance!

B.G.

Offline Admin

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2014, 12:42:16 PM »
Sorry!
We've been active on the Poly Living Facebook Group and less on this forum.  I hope we can still offer help.  Thanks.

Antony

Offline emerald.rain.37

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2014, 05:31:26 PM »
I'm here because I need everything.  ;D

What I need most is a place with like minded people who can help me sort out all of the stuff spinning around in my head. My husband of over 13 years and I are brand new to poly. We've discussed it for years, ran through every scenario, feeling, what-if, etc we could possibly think of. It took us a long time to decide to do this because we wanted to make sure we truly wanted it and were ready to handle the inevitable bumps in the road. Talking about it and living it are two very different things. I'm finding myself struggling with some things I didn't think I would and feelings popping up that are taking me by surprise.

I adore my husband's gf. She is a one in a million find. I have absolutely nothing to feel negative about. Yet I find myself feeling exactly that at times. A good example would be from today. Work has been extremely hectic lately. I work a job which sometimes requires 24 hours away from home. I have 2 of those shifts this week plus two 8 hour shifts and meetings the other days of the week. So I'm going to be gone a lot starting tomorrow morning. I found myself feeling what I thought at first was jealous tonight that my husband's gf is coming over. But when I stopped to analyze those feelings it wasn't actually the gf coming over that was bothering me, it was my own choice to be away from home so much for work. It's not their fault so directing my feelings towards them was wrong.

Is this common? Am I just not cut out for this lifestyle even though it feels right in my heart?

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Re: Why Are You Here and What Do You Need From Poly Living
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2014, 09:25:15 PM »
It's great to have you here.  We're re-working the forum but we it's good to see you.

Some people will argue that we are genetically geared toward poly.  Others will argue that we learn it from our environment.  I honestly don't know.  What I do know is that there are a lot of people who find out about poly later rather than sooner and end up having to unlearn a lot of pre-conceived notions. What does that have to do with you?

You are not alone.  Many people struggle to unlearn a life time of thought processes concerning relationships.  You are no different than many other people who are learning about poly now.  It is good that you could rationally and objectively evaluate the situation.  As you put it, you found out the issue was about a choice you made.  The nice thing about figuring that out about yourself is that it is something you can address.  That is good. 

When we first started poly, we struggled.  We had monogamous mindsets and tried so hard to apply it to our new poly life.  It was trial and error before we got to where we are today but we barely knew anyone and there were only a handful of sites on the new back then.  Now...well, I hope we can help you and support you like others did us.

 


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