Polyamory is not limited to just three people. There are different types of polyamory. The question you must ask is, “What kind of poly do I want to do?” Do I want an open or closed relationship? What is motivating me?
Some people confuse polygamy and polyamory. Polygamy is when a person, male or female, has more than one husband or wife. It’s broken into two parts- polyandry and polygyny. Polyandry is when a woman has two or more husbands or mates. Polygyny is when a man has two or more wives or mates. It is traditionally interpreted as being married to the multiple spouses. Is this still polyamory? Yes, because the people are involved in multiple open partner relationships then they are polyamorous. But a person doesn’t have to be married to be polyamorous.
There are different types of poly relationships. Some involve marriage while others don’t. Some are “open” while others are “closed”. An open relationship is where the poly people involved allow their partners to have outside romantic relationships. A closed relationship is where the people can be with multiple partners but only within their poly group.
Those that choose to have a closed relationship are considered polyfidelitous or practicing poly fidelity. Poly fidelity is where individuals are allowed to be with multiple partners but only within their poly group. New partners can be added but only at the approval of all partners involved. Partners can hold “veto” power. Veto is where the primary partners can veto or approve new partners. If vetoed then no new partners are added.
You need to decide what kind of poly relationship you want and all your partners should be in agreement. If everyone comes in wanting different things, then there is a higher possibility of conflict, jealousy and heartbreak. Talking with others can help a person learn what has and hasn’t worked for others. The Poly Living Forum is a good place to meet and talk to others.